you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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