FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize