he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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