I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
