and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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