I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize