we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
