just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
