Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
