Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
