How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Drake has all the answers
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
