Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
