i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
