Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i love accidental penises.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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