Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
