Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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