there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize