1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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