maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?