THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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