I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
