Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Randomize
