if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
