i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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