I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
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just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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