Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
