We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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