I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
