remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
