I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
