okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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