I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
