we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
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