it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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