Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
