I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
