have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
