I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
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You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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