8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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