the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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