Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
