Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize