just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
