Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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