btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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