This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
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I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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