my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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