What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
