her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
