ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
