She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
