The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize