so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
