I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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