I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
