brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
